It was one of those days I was so excited to be travelling, and it happened to be a Sunday. So I decided to go for 6am mass but would leave just before the announcements began…
So as early as 5am I was up and getting ready for church, 1st obstacle of the day was to get a bike to take me to church that early, as I walked out of the house I saw a cab at a distance but before I could stop it, it zoomed off…. So I waited. At about 6am I finally heard the sound of a bike approaching…..*phew*
I got on the bike o, the next thing I knew it started to drizzle…. *Dear Lord not now……sobbing* and you know how bad it is, taking a bike under the rain……
By the time I got to church, I was already wet and mass had started………… I sat at the back where I could easily slip out later, then I saw a warden approach me “my daughter, why don’t you move to one of those seats over there, this seat is too backward,..” she said
“I won’t be staying till the end of mass, because I’m travelling ma, that’s why I’m seated here”.
“1st mass doesn’t take too long, you should stay till the end my child” she said.
I did as she said and changed seats but I didn’t wait till the end of mass…. I left as planned…
Outside the church, I finally found a bike to take me to the park, and then it started raining AGAIN….. I got to the park all wet, teeth clattering, and was shivering all over…. Purchased my ticket and had to wait in the AC tight customer’s lounge for the bus to fill up.. *silently wishing the bus would not be an AC one*. But it was.
“Passengers for bus 144 heading for Yaba, Lagos…. Your bus is around, please go outside” said a voice through the microphone>>>>>
So the bus finally gets full and I’m seated in the back seat ‘seat 13’ next to a cute dude and a grumpy old lady who kept complaining how tight the bus was….. and then we were on our way…. *just before we left, we were served snacks and drinks for our journey….yeah…… for free… I couldn’t believe my eyes….*
So the journey began, and about an hour and 30mins into it, I became pressed…. (I was taught that females tend to have a higher capacity to hold urine because of their anatomy…… so I thought I could exercise this advantage till we got to ore….)
Just as I made that decision, we diverted from the main road into a bush path all in the bid to avoid traffic, *then I knew I was in for it….. big time* if you travel by road you’ll know how these bush roads are……really long and so narrow that the vehicles coming and going find it really difficult… so one can’t park along it… 20min….30…..40….. 1hr….1hr 20mns…..we were still in this narrow bush o… different thoughts were running through my mind, like why weren’t mobile toilets built into buses??? Or why did we have to pass this damned bush???…. why was I feeling this pressed even when I eased myself that morning and have taken no form of solid or liquid food????
*Dear Lord, I would NEVER leave before mass ends next time, please just don’t let me embarrass myself*
finally when we came out of the bush we were at ore ….. so was waiting for this driver to stop o….. 10mins out of the bush, and he was still driving….. I wanted to run mad…. Had to ask the dude beside me “won’t he stop?” as this was the first time I was travelling with this line… and he said it depended on the driver…
About 10mins later he stopped….heaving a great sigh of relief I wanted to get down as soon as possible…because my external sphincter has already started giving way….. (your urinary tract has an internal sphincter under involuntary control and an external sphincter under voluntary control)…
I practically ran into the eatry, asking of the rest room…. 1st person was acting dumb…..mtchewww…. when I located it I didn’t even think twice, I found myself in the MALE section……..yes o….i did enter there…… one guy was saying ‘this is for males’ …………and I thought, “like obviously it was written, I’m a literate”………..but at that point I didn’t mind MALE/FEMALE…. Plus the fact that the 1 for females would be filled up as all the babes in my bus went in……* I wonder if I was alone in ma situation*
……….felt greatly relieved as I walk out of the restroom……… totally ignoring all the guys that were surprised to see a female in their section….
Back in my bus, the dude beside me was smiling and ‘I saw you in our section o’ and I just laughed saying ‘I had no option joor’……
The rest of the trip was smooth though.
This was officially the most uncomfortable journey ever….