TOILET-O-PHOBIA…….


Wow its been so long since i wrote something not medically related, i’ve missed you all so much……. sorry it seems i have been on hibernation for a while………. well its never too late to say happy new year to anyone so long its the first time you are seeing yourselves in the new year…….. Be it in January or June. With that said, I’m wishing all my faithful readers out there a happy and prosperous 2013, and may you achieve all your set goals Amen……
Now to the business of the day, i have seen and heard of so many creatures in this lifetime of mine, both in reality and on tv…. but recently i had my official first encounter with a snake….#i don’t mean we sat to gist sha because this was really a brief meeting…..#your guess is as good as mine why it was so short….#……. i have not really seen a ‘live’ snake before. #Yeah i haven’t #

i just happen to meet them when they have been killed or hear that a snake was around and was killed and thrown away…………
On this special day, i got back from evening mass and was just in the room with my roomies…… at about 10pm, wanting to ease myself i stood up and went to the bathroom….. low and behold, as i opened the door, something black sprung up at me suddenly and i jumped backwards……shouted something…….. and found myself outside the room…. it was black, as thick as a mop stick and half as long…. my other roomie followed but the third remained…#bold right….. well she had to because her corner is closest to the bathroom…….i know i would have done same or……….m…a…y…b…e…….not…….
Well, i ran to call d security and when they finally arrived (like our normal police in the movies …. LATE….) they didn’t find the snake….. my roomie who stayed behind said it went back into the toilet room….. but as it wasn’t seen, the security started implying that maybe….. just maybe…..we saw a vision……we heard so much that night, from how snakes don’t jump to how snakes can’t crawl on tiles….they almost made me start feeling like ….maybe i didn’t see a snake afterall…i felt like i was being hypnotized, like in the movies and not so sure anymore…they would have succeeded if i was the only one in the room, but turns out my 2 other roomies saw it also……phewwww……#bone of contention is that i saw a snake spring up from a coiled position, apparently i disturbed its rest (rest o in my own room i paid for) #so annoying….. i guess it should have bitten me first for evidence…..
They checked everywhere, there was no ‘visible’ hole #yeah visible because the snake had to have come from somewhere, hate to imagine i’ve been cohabiting with a snake all these time# ….. they ended up pouring fuel everywhere in the bathroom and toilet and even burnt paper and pepper….. and then they left
But what did i do??????????????????? Perfect question…………….. even before they finished all their talk and fuel parade…. i had taken the things i needed for the night and kept in a friend’s room…. no way was i sleeping in that room that night….. even for the next 2days i didn’t stay there… not to talk of using the bathroom or toilet there…..

https://kalmnkool.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/tphobia.jpg

I went online that day…….to google the possibility of snakes coming out of the toilet …..#yeah o…. i’m serious…. all this drama, on top snake….# you’ll be amazed the responses i got…. #trust google answers#…………… some were saying yes, others no and some just funny…. imagine someone saying ‘its true…. but in other to help prevent it, you should reduce the number of times you defeacate, to increase the faecal content, so when you finally use the toilet, the bulk will be so much the snake can’t get through…………..#imagine…

https://kalmnkool.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/tphobi.jpg

Different remedies to scare snakes away were heard. …… from fuel to kerosene to burning a piece of tyre…..to burning pepper and paper…. then using bitter-kola etc…..
Then from mumsi’s point of view, i had to sprinkle every olive oil, holy water and mustard seed available…..and prayer in addition……
So that’s it o…………. I’m a survivor……………#hands in the air…
Tchao
#kalmone

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13 thoughts on “TOILET-O-PHOBIA…….

  1. Dd says:

    Really funni, but me and snakes don’t see eye to eye. I remember when i was in Second sch, i meat a snake swallowing a frog when i went to fetch water, on sighting each other we both run in opposite directions *snake leaving its dinner & i inadvertantly saved the frog*, you brave, left to me i wouldn’t have stayed in that house even. Good job luv.

  2. chinese says:

    Relax dear for God has given us the authority to trample on and scorpion.unless of course He didn’t mean it literally…seeing as u’re still traumatized I’ll find a shrink for u #google search….. And I’m sure we can find a self help group for #snake traumatized victims somewhere…but have u stopped to considered the snake? Poor thing must’ve bn lost and cold and YOU scared it…

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