Let’s view this from different perspectives:
So there is this ‘unspoken rule’ that when you’re in a relationship, the amount of love you have for your partner is directly proportional to how much you flaunt them on social media (bbm, fb, twitter, instagram, etc). For some people, you can easily keep tabs on who they are dating now, who they dated in the past, when they broke up and even why. Any form of misunderstanding gets them updating all sorts of things, some just to spite their partner, who will get the message, and others to get attention from people..
There are some of my friends on bbm, when bae plans a surprise, oh boi, he is the best, I would see all sorts of mushy PMs. There was one time someone put up ‘my king, my everything, my BACK-UP HEAD’!!! (back-up head got me and my friends laughing, and became a joke that stuck. Have you found your back-up head?) It got to a point a friend of mine said, ‘babe it’s like those girls who are full of praises for bae everytime, know a proposal is lurking in the corner, or are hinting for one’. We both laughed it off.. And truly back-up head chic is married now…
Then when I see some kind of PMs… ‘trust no one’ ‘karma is a bitch’ ‘love is overrated’ etc I know there is trouble in paradise.
Personally I’m not the type to have ‘all’ my business on social media especially relationship gist. I have my phases with these social media, from hi5, to Facebook, Twitter, bbm, whatsapp, instagram. There are times I can go for months/years without posting anything. but seems I’ve been stuck on bbm, at least I change DPs frequently.
Here’s the thing, my updates are mostly all these funny pictures,, rarely anything personal. I hardly even use my own pictures, not to talk of bae… Whenever I put up a guy’s picture and write ‘happy birthday’, I would be bombarded with questions from family, friends and even foes.. ‘so he’s the one right?’ ‘bae is cute, Greet him for me’, when I decide to burst their bubble and say he’s not bae, I done buy market be that.. ‘ahn ahn. Why now?’ ‘how come we rarely see pictures of your own bae, why are you so unromantic?’ ‘when will you bring him home?’ ‘don’t tell me you are still Single na’ etc…
I saw a post recently of a wife being condemned on social media for not putting up her hubby’s picture on his birthday… Those people were not smiling and gave it to her hot, because apparently the hubby advertises on his own part.. What they didn’t know was that the hubby had abandoned her and the kids for 3 months, how do you wish such a hubby happy birthday day? Apparently the hubby was the type that liked to keep up a front in the public eye and she wasn’t.
Here’s another perspective. Should social media come between you and bae?
A relation was talking with me recently about her bae, about how loving and caring he was, but, (of course there is a but, no one is perfect) he is OVER-PROTECTIVE. (the pressed down, shaken together and running over type of protective). She no longer talks to her male friends because it’ll start up a quarell.. In his defense he says it’s because he loves her so much and he knows what all these guys want, and is talking from experience. (so I’m thinking, really!! Love huh?… Ok)
She kept giving instances of times they had had issues over one guy or another.. The one that really got to me was the fb quarell… Here’s what happened… She is a picture lover, can’t go a day without dressing up to snap, even when she has got no place to go.. (yes o, na so.. My phone suffered for that). So one day, after snapping and editing the pictures, she decided to post some on her fb page. As usual friends will like and comment on your pictures and even yab you sef.. Later that day, bae called and said what sort of pictures were those, he didn’t like them, she should take them down, it’ll bring opportunity for guys to start up a conversation with her and so on… (I was shocked, and his choice of words weren’t helping matters..what ever happened to correcting with love, even if he really didn’t like the pictures… There are ways to go about it with her and she’ll use her church mind to remove them… She is your gf, not your kid sister you caught necking with a guy…there’s a way you’ll say ‘go to hell’ and one will anticipate the journey….. This surely was kilometers away from it….)
She tried defending herself, (yes defend as that’s what you do when attacked), and asked the particular picture he didn’t like, so she would remove that one.. And he said ‘all of them’, that he even saw that her ex liked the picture, and next he (the ex) will comment and that’s how a conversation will start between them, who knows what else, that she was meant to be sorry and apologize, instead she is defending herself, she should stop talking and listen to him, he wouldn’t like his gf on Facebook sef, what does she need it for, his happiness should be paramount to her, and she shouldn’t be doing things to make him sad, in short she should quit fb and close her account… (at this point I was fuming where I was, I almost took the phone from her to talk to him and ask some questions, like was he willing to quit too? Why so insecure over her ex liking her picture? what about her own happiness? Not that fb brought that, but the ability to be free and trusted to take certain decisions concerning her own life, but then who my talk done help? best not to involve myself then, so I tried to concentrate on the book I was reading, believe me I tried)
This fb issue went on for days, she took down those pictures but told him she wasn’t quitting fb, it was a means of reaching out to others and kept her in touch with the world, and lots of other things were said.. And guess what his reply was? That one of his female friends told him she had to quit fb because her bf didn’t like it, and so he expected her to do same, she is meant to be submissive, as the Bible says, but if she still insists on not quitting, she should send him her username and password…
(‘ahhhhhhhhh’ i thought to myself, ‘so you’ll do what? Change my relationship status to married, be my secretary to screen and reply my messages? For Christ’s sake this is just fb, next you would say I shouldn’t even use a phone, afterall who else should call me asides my dear bf abi? This Bible quote they all use, says wives should be submissive and husbands should RESPECT their wives, asides the fact that they weren’t husband and wife yet, what about respect?. If they eventually get married, she may end up being the Christian who wears hijab… All because she has a ‘loving’ husband.. And then about that his female friend, why didn’t he go and date her, since he wanted a docile lapdog to hang on to every word he says…)
Finally, he let the matter rest, (or I hope so) as they both agreed to disagree on the ‘quiting fb’ issue… But that didn’t stop her from thinking of certain things, how long would she keep on with this, today it’s fb, what will it be tomorrow?……..
Would love to hear your opinions also, feel free to use the comments section…