Your relationships and social media


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Let’s view this from different perspectives:

FIRST:
So there is this ‘unspoken rule’ that when you’re in a relationship, the amount of love you have for your partner is directly proportional to how much you flaunt them on social media (bbm, fb, twitter, instagram, etc). For some people, you can easily keep tabs on who they are dating now, who they dated in the past, when they broke up and even why. Any form of misunderstanding gets them updating all sorts of things, some just to spite their partner, who will get the message, and others to get attention from people..image

There are some of my friends on bbm, when bae plans a surprise, oh boi, he is the best, I would see all sorts of mushy PMs. There was one time someone put up ‘my king, my everything, my BACK-UP HEAD’!!! (back-up head got me and my friends laughing, and became a joke that stuck. Have you found your back-up head?) It got to a point a friend of mine said, ‘babe it’s like those girls who are full of praises for bae everytime, know a proposal is lurking in the corner, or are hinting for one’. We both laughed it off.. And truly back-up head chic is married now…
Then when I see some kind of PMs… ‘trust no one’ ‘karma is a bitch’ ‘love is overrated’ etc I know there is trouble in paradise.
Personally I’m not the type to have ‘all’ my business on social media especially relationship gist. I have my phases with these social media, from hi5, to Facebook, Twitter, bbm, whatsapp, instagram. There are times I can go for months/years without posting anything. but seems I’ve been stuck on bbm, at least I change DPs frequently.
Here’s the thing, my updates are mostly all these funny pictures,, rarely anything personal. I hardly even use my own pictures, not to talk of bae… Whenever I put up a guy’s picture and write ‘happy birthday’, I would be bombarded with questions from family, friends and even foes.. ‘so he’s the one right?’ ‘bae is cute, Greet him for me’, when I decide to burst their bubble and say he’s not bae, I done buy market be that.. ‘ahn ahn. Why now?’ ‘how come we rarely see pictures of your own bae, why are you so unromantic?’ ‘when will you bring him home?’ ‘don’t tell me you are still Single na’ etc…
I saw a post recently of a wife being condemned on social media for not putting up her hubby’s picture on his birthday… Those people were not smiling and gave it to her hot, because apparently the hubby advertises on his own part.. What they didn’t know was that the hubby had abandoned her and the kids for 3 months, how do you wish such a hubby happy birthday day? Apparently the hubby was the type that liked to keep up a front in the public eye and she wasn’t.
SECOND:
Here’s another perspective. Should social media come between you and bae?
A relation was talking with me recently about her bae, about how loving and caring he was, but, (of course there is a but, no one is perfect) he is OVER-PROTECTIVE. (the pressed down, shaken together and running over type of protective). She no longer talks to her male friends because it’ll start up a quarell.. In his defense he says it’s because he loves her so much and he knows what all these guys want, and is talking from experience. (so I’m thinking, really!! Love huh?… Ok)
She kept giving instances of times they had had issues over one guy or another.. The one that really got to me was the fb quarell… Here’s what happened… She is a picture lover, can’t go a day without dressing up to snap, even when she has got no place to go.. (yes o, na so.. My phone suffered for that). So one day, after snapping and editing the pictures, she decided to post some on her fb page. As usual friends will like and comment on your pictures and even yab you sef.. Later that day, bae called and said what sort of pictures were those, he didn’t like them, she should take them down, it’ll bring opportunity for guys to start up a conversation with her and so on… (I was shocked, and his choice of words weren’t helping matters..what ever happened to correcting with love, even if he really didn’t like the pictures… There are ways to go about it with her and she’ll use her church mind to remove them… She is your gf, not your kid sister you caught necking with a guy…there’s a way you’ll say ‘go to hell’ and one will anticipate the journey….. This surely was kilometers away from it….)
She tried defending herself, (yes defend as that’s what you do when attacked), and asked the particular picture he didn’t like, so she would remove that one.. And he said ‘all of them’, that he even saw that her ex liked the picture, and next he (the ex) will comment and that’s how a conversation will start between them, who knows what else, that she was meant to be sorry and apologize, instead she is defending herself, she should stop talking and listen to him, he wouldn’t like his gf on Facebook sef, what does she need it for, his happiness should be paramount to her, and she shouldn’t be doing things to make him sad, in short she should quit fb and close her account… (at this point I was fuming where I was, I almost took the phone from her to talk to him and ask some questions, like was he willing to quit too? Why so insecure over her ex liking her picture? what about her own happiness? Not that fb brought that, but the ability to be free and trusted to take certain decisions concerning her own life, but then who my talk done help? best not to involve myself then, so I tried to concentrate on the book I was reading, believe me I tried)
This fb issue went on for days, she took down those pictures but told him she wasn’t quitting fb, it was a means of reaching out to others and kept her in touch with the world, and lots of other things were said.. And guess what his reply was? That one of his female friends told him she had to quit fb because her bf didn’t like it, and so he expected her to do same, she is meant to be submissive, as the Bible says, but if she still insists on not quitting, she should send him her username and password…
(‘ahhhhhhhhh’ i thought to myself, ‘so you’ll do what? Change my relationship status to married, be my secretary to screen and reply my messages? For Christ’s sake this is just fb, next you would say I shouldn’t even use a phone, afterall who else should call me asides my dear bf abi? This Bible quote they all use, says wives should be submissive and husbands should RESPECT their wives, asides the fact that they weren’t husband and wife yet, what about respect?. If they eventually get married, she may end up being the Christian who wears hijab… All because she has a ‘loving’ husband.. And then about that his female friend, why didn’t he go and date her, since he wanted a docile lapdog to hang on to every word he says…)
Finally, he let the matter rest, (or I hope so) as they both agreed to disagree on the ‘quiting fb’ issue… But that didn’t stop her from thinking of certain things, how long would she keep on with this, today it’s fb, what will it be tomorrow?……..

Would love to hear your opinions also, feel free to use the comments section…

Tchao
#kalmone

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Back n Better….


Hello people, it’s been so so terribly long, today makes it a year since my last post, so it’s merry Christmas, happy new year, happy val’s day in arrears and happy easter in advance.
hmmmmmm, please don’t ask me why, whatever reason you chose, it’s okay by me, all I’ll say is, it was a well deserved hiatus…..feels good to be back.

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Alot has happened this past year, mostly good stuffs though, thank God, I’m sure it’s been the same for you..

Well, a couple of things have been on my mind recently, the first is this,

Do you think it’s right to judge a person by their past, especially when it doesn’t sit well with you? Let’s say A and B are in love, but A doesn’t want to date B because B has done some things in the past A didn’t like?…. Is it not possible for people to change especially for the one’s they love?
Personally I think we all have our past, and we shouldn’t let it get in the way of our present or future, it’s in d past, leave it there…. #Oton

Then;
When dating, who should love more, the guy or the girl, is it okay to be with someone who loves you more than you love them? Is it even enough reason to break up because someone loves you more than you love them?

And then;
Some people seem to be of the opinion that, when you meet a girl and you like yourselves, you don’t need to ‘ask out’ as is the tradition, that things will just develop naturally and both hearts will know what they want and the mouth doesn’t need to say what the heart feels just because that’s the conventional thing to do….
As for me, for clarity’s sake that mouth had better talk, the heart needs to know where it stands…:mrgreen:

And finally election is around the corner , it’s an election not a war, go and exercise your civil rights in peace, #vote right for a better Nigeria for us all.

Till my next post (hopefully not next year) 🙋
Tchao
#kalmone

A true story


  • https://kalmnkool.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/blog.jpg

    Hi all,
    This is a little story that was shared with me and I want to share it also, it’s a true life tale, and as always I will appeal that you read it and make sense of it, and share it.

    The names, dates and events have been altered, so any similarities are entirely coincidental.

    …..*I stood in line behind her trying to get a doughnut at an eatery, been a while I had a doughnut, so I was willing to endure the chatter of a young lady in front of us, she seemed engrossed with her mobile phone, typing away, receiving calls and describing what she had on, and looking around as if expecting to see someone, it was getting quite annoying and I soon realized I was not the only one feeling that way, the lady in front of me shared the same notion and hissed loudly between intervals, I would later learn why she was so open in showing her distaste.

    Continue reading “A true story”